Cold emailing is tough. You’re competing with hundreds of other messages in someone’s inbox, and you’ve got just a few seconds to grab their attention before they hit delete. But here’s the thing—when done right, cold emails work incredibly well. While the average response rate sits at a modest 8.5%, the top campaigns achieve 20% or higher response rates.
The key difference? Following proven principles that put your reader first, not your product.
According to Finn Mallery now-deleted X post, here are the key takeaways for writing effective cold emails:
- Keep it short: Aim for 5-8 sentences. With over 70% of emails read on mobile, your message needs to be digestible at a glance.
- Break it up: Never write more than two sentences without a line break. This makes your email easy to skim and keeps the reader engaged.
- Focus on them, not you: Avoid talking about your product’s features. Instead, focus on the customer’s problems. They don’t care about what you’ve built; they care about how you can help them. If you must, keep it to a brief reference like “we do X.”
- Address their pain: Personalize your email by talking about the recipient, their company, and the specific challenges they face. Highlight their problem and “twist the knife” to grab their interest.
- Use smart calls-to-action: If your campaign is performing well, a direct call request can work. If not, use softer CTAs like, “Can I send you my thoughts on how to solve this?,” “Cool if I send a personalized Loom on how you could do X?,” or “Got an awesome outbound growth strategy, would that be of interest?”
- Above all, be direct. Don’t try to trick anyone into a call. It’s a waste of time for both of you. You only want to engage with people who might actually buy your product.
Let’s start with a reality check: 85% of people use smartphones to access email. That means your beautifully crafted three-paragraph email is getting read on a tiny screen while someone’s walking to grab coffee or sitting in traffic.
This changes everything about how you write. Your email needs to work on mobile first, desktop second. That means shorter sentences, more white space, and getting to the point fast.
The 5-8 sentence rule
Keep your entire email between 5-8 sentences max. This isn’t arbitrary—it’s based on mobile screen real estate. Most people can see about 5-6 lines of text on their phone without scrolling. If they have to scroll to read your email, you’ve already lost half your audience.
The 2-sentence line break rule
Never write more than two sentences without breaking up the lines. People skim emails, especially on mobile. Big blocks of text look overwhelming and get skipped. White space is your friend—it makes your email feel easier to digest.
Here’s what this looks like in practice:
Bad:
Hi John, I hope this email finds you well. I wanted to reach out because I noticed your company has been growing rapidly and I thought you might be interested in our new software solution that helps companies like yours streamline their operations and increase efficiency.Good:
Hi John,
I noticed your company just raised Series B funding. Congrats!
Growing fast usually means operational headaches. Is that something you're dealing with right now?This is where most founders screw up. They’re so excited about what they built that they forget nobody else cares. You’re the 500th email in their inbox that day. They don’t care about your features, your technology, or how long you worked on it.
The problem-first approach
Instead of leading with what you do, lead with the problem you solve. People care about their own problems way more than your solutions. Find their pain point and twist the knife a little.
Example Templates:
Feature-focused (bad):
Hi Sarah,
We built an AI-powered analytics platform with real-time dashboards, automated reporting, and advanced data visualization capabilities.
Would you like to see a demo?Problem-focused (good):
Hi Sarah,
Saw your team just hit 50 employees. That's awesome.
But I bet you're spending way too much time pulling reports instead of actually analyzing what the data means.
Most marketing directors at your stage tell me they feel like they're drowning in spreadsheets. Sound familiar?Generic emails get deleted. Personalized emails get responses. But here’s the catch—personalization doesn’t just mean using their first name. Real personalization means showing you understand their specific situation.
Research-driven personalization
Before you write a single word, research:
The three-layer approach:
Template Example:
Hi Michael,
Just read about your expansion into the European market. That's exciting.
International expansion usually means juggling multiple time zones for customer support.
Are you dealing with that headache yet?Your call-to-action (CTA) can make or break your email. Most people go straight for “hop on a call” but that’s often too big an ask for a cold email.
The CTA ladder:
High-performing campaigns: Go straight for the call Struggling campaigns: Use softer CTAs first
Soft CTA examples:
Hard CTA examples:
The most important principle? Be direct. Don’t try to trick people into responding. Don’t use clickbait subject lines. Don’t pretend you’re following up when you’re not.
People can smell BS from a mile away. If you’re honest about what you want and why you’re reaching out, you’ll get better responses from people who actually might buy from you.
Step 1: Research (5 minutes max)
Step 2: Write the opening (1 sentence)
Step 3: Identify the pain point (2-3 sentences)
Step 4: Soft solution reference (1 sentence)
Step 5: Soft CTA (1 sentence)
Subject: Quick question about [specific challenge]
Hi [Name],
[Specific reference to their company/role/recent news].
[Industry/role] leaders at [company stage] usually struggle with [specific pain point].
Is that something you're dealing with right now?
[Soft solution reference if needed - max 1 sentence]
[Soft CTA based on your campaign performance]
Best,
[Your name]Track these metrics to improve your cold email game:
Primary metrics:
Secondary metrics:
Cold email works when you make it about them, not you. Keep it short, make it mobile-friendly, focus on their problems, and be direct about what you want. Most importantly, only reach out to people who actually have the problem you solve.
Remember: you’re not trying to trick anyone into a meeting. You’re trying to start a conversation with someone who genuinely needs what you’re offering. That’s the difference between spam and effective outreach.
At FidForward, we help companies build their teams by connecting them with top-tier talent through effective outreach, using the very principles outlined here.
The best cold emails feel like they were written by a human, for a human, about a real problem that matters. Everything else is just noise.